


Emergency

by Tshilaba



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:43:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3985393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tshilaba/pseuds/Tshilaba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, all you can do is wait, no matter how much it hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emergency

She watched them, uncertain of what to say, exactly. What could she say? What could be said that wouldn't just mess things up any more than they already were? She sighed. She couldn't pretend she didn't see it anymore. The tears in the girl's eyes, the pain in her voice... Even if she couldn't begin to imagine the pain the poor girl was going through, she could see she was hurting.

She hated seeing the people she cared about hurting, and she let herself care for so very few. But these two, she could tell they were struggling.

Isabel was practically screaming for affection, to know she wasn't alone. That much was obvious. But she had no clue how to approach the younger girl without hurting her more. And seeing Farlan try...

She cringed as the redhead screamed at the young man and stormed off. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," Farlan said, running a hand through his hair. "Just said that I'd be praying for her. And she jumped on me for giving her that bullshit and not even trying to be there for her..."

Hanji sighed, letting her face fall into her hands as Farlan sat down across from her at the tiny little table outside the cafe. Her glassess were shoved up into her hair, but he was close enough that she didn't have to squint when she looked up. "She hurts so much she can't see that you're trying."

"You are as well."

She snorted. "Not as much as you. I sent her that text this morning. She didn't respond, so I let her be. I have no clue what to say to her. I can't imagine how she feels. It's like...like her feelings are an iceberg..."

"And all we're seeing is the raw, biting top of it."

She nodded, before dropping her face into her hands once more. "Why can't there just be some way to telepathically let her know we care? That even if we can't fill the hole, that we're willing to try our damnedesst to love her?"

"Because life hates us."

"That's for damn sure." She slammed her fists down on the table, tears in her eyes. "We love her, dammit! We just didn't want to hurt her. God knows I have a tendency to screw everything up..."

"You didn't screw this up, I did," Farlan said sadly. "Probably destroyed our friendship too."

Hanji shook her head. "She's just hurting. And she needs us..."

"Well, I'm sure as hell not leaving her."

The brunette smiled wryly. "And you think I am? You may have known her longer, but she's my lil sis too. I wouldn't leave her. But..." She sighed quietly as she rubbed the tears from her eyes, swallowing hard to keep the others in as best she could. "Scars never fade away. But while physical wounds can be healed with ointment, emotional ones can only be healed with love..."

Farlan nodded silently and folded his hands in front of himself, staring at the table pensively. "...I told her to go home, get a bite to eat, drink some water, and take a nap. I don't think she's taking care of herself."

The brunette's tongue clucked softly. "I think you need to take a breather yourself."

"I  _do_ feel a bit nauseous..."

She nodded and pushed an unopened water bottle toward him. "Drink," she said simply. When he did, she continued, "I think the biggest hurdle is convincing her that, whatever she chooses, she's not selfish."

He choked on his water then, having to turn and cough a few time. "W-what? I've heard you say some crazy things, but--"

"She's not selfish for wanting to end her life. And she's not a coward for not being able to."

"You've lost me, Zoe."

She wasn't looking at him though. In fact, she didn't seem to be looking at anything at all. "She may think no one cares, but that's the pain and depression talking. It does things to your mind, you know. Bad things. Saddening things," she mused softly, almost to herself. "But she's the only one who has the right to end her life before it ends naturally. Is she fearful there's nothing after death? Is that what holds her back? Perhaps. I'm not her, and, therefore, I have no right to say..."

"But..."

"This is...well, I suppose you could call it an emergency. What can we do to show her life is worth living?  _Is_ it worth living for her? We made promises, yes. But do they mean more than her pain?"

"I love her, Zoe," he said. "And I know you do too."

"I do. But does it mean enough to her? Can we love her enough to make her feel alive again? There's a difference between surviving and actually  _living_ , Farlan."

"If you lost someone dear, would you think they would want you to cut your life short just to be with them?"

"No. But depending on the person, I may do it anyway, so I can understand her desire to."

"I do hope you don't approach trauma patients like this."

"No, as a doctor, my job is to do everything in my power to save them unless I've been told not to, in which case why the hell are they in the ER in the first place? Isabel is different. I have no right to force her hand on anything. I have only the right to love her and take caare of her as she lets me."

Farlan sighed and took another sip of water.

"But I will say that she has no reason to fear never seeing them again."

Farlan raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"There have been documented cases of traveling to and from a 'heaven'," --she used her fingers to make air quotes to indicate a more abstract concept-- "and even cases of reincarnation. She  _will_ see them again."

"That still doesn't--"

"Of course we don't want Isabel to take her life, idiot!" the brunette sighed. "We love her and refuse to leave her. But there's little we can do unless she lets us."

"So we just sit here and pray?"

"Well, if you think that will work."

"Zoe."

"I'm actually being serious. She deserves to feel loved and cherished, but if she holds us at arm's length, there's little we can do."

They sat in silence for a few moments, Farlan drinking his water and Hanji staring at a spot on the table.

"I have a habit of holding on past the point of reason," he said.

Hanji snorted. "That's definitely a good description." She sighed and leaned over to rifle through her bag before pulling out her laptop.

"What are you doing?"

"Well. There's nothing we can do right now. It's sorta like if a patient storms out of the ER. We can't force them to come back and let us treat them. We just have to wait for them to come back." She opened her laptop and, after a few moments., the clacking of keys could be heard. "Perhaps all Is needs is space. It's best we give that to her."

"You're taking this very calmly."

She tapped the side of her glases briefly. "If I didn't, I'd be hurting her more. I'm holding back because I love her."

"People really do give you too little credit. You really do care about others more than yourself."

She shrugged. "I'm happy with my small group."

"And you'd rather not lose her."

"'Zactly."


End file.
